This is the fourth of a few matrimonial articles, focusing on the word MARRIAGE. The first article titled Introvert meets Extrovert and focused on Me, Myself and I as well as Adjustment in the marriage. The second article focused on the topic of having a Rock Solid Marriage and the third spoke to the topic of making sure that you also Relax in your marriage. In this article we will look at the importance of being an inspiration to our spouses and also to our loved ones, whether family, friends or colleagues.
M – Me, Myself and I
A – Adjust – Introvert meets Extrovert
R – Rock Solid
R – Relax
I – Inspire
A – Affection
G – Grow
E – Eternal
After school, I did not have the opportunity to undertake studies. I went on in finding a job, working as a clerk. I met my husband and married young, moving away from home. Being a military officer, his career took him away from home many times and therefore my main priority was to give a stable home to our kids. I also started working and enjoyed learning new things, setting a goal for myself that once my husband completed most of his military courses, I wanted to obtain a higher qualification. Ten years later, my husband was appointed to a different post, which included him being more permanently at home. Within two months after we moved I enrolled for studies and achieved my goal three years later. I shared this experience with you because you see if it was not for my husband’s motivation and inspiration, I would not have gotten so far.
Although I was good enough for him as his wife and the mother of his children, he inspired me to follow my dreams. Many years later, I embarked upon studies again and this time the commitment to work long hours and study after hours was tiring. Yet, he once again inspired me to see it through. He gave me a whole year of his life by taking responsibility for shopping, house work and cooking when he returned from work, so that I could have enough time to dedicate to my studies. When I stood on the stage to receive my diploma and reward, I gave God honour but also acknowledged that without my husband’s inspiration, I would not have been where I am. He believes in me. He motivates me. He inspires me.
I have worked with people that do not have the support or inspiration from their loved ones to reach higher goals. If they want to embark on something new, they are often not supported and left alone to manage the household and take on new opportunities. Hence, if the schedule is tight, the sleep is little and there is no encouragement and inspiration from a loved one, it often results in the person giving up or letting go of those dreams.
When we look at the marriage, it is about giving 100%. Both the man and the woman must give 100% of their time and commitment, which includes motivating and inspiring each other. This does not only refer to taking on something like studies, it also includes motivation to live out a passion or calling to serve others. Perhaps it means to visit the old age home once per month, play with the kids at the orphanage or just to be available to spend time with friends in order to motivate them over a cup of coffee. Sometimes it is saying encouraging words to support a healthy lifestyle and even inspiring them through participation.
When was the last time you inspired your spouse? When was the last time you told him/her that you are proud of what they do/achieve? When was the last time you asked him/her what they desire and what they want to achieve in the next five years? You might be in good communication with your spouse and you might dream together, but the next question is whether you are helping and inspiring them to reach those goals. Perhaps ma’am it means that you will be alone for an hour after work 2 – 3 times a week when he goes out for a run, practicing for a 20km race. Perhaps sir, it means that you will look after the kids and prepare supper once a week for her to attend an art class. Whatever it might be, let us talk to our spouses and find out what is going on in their life and heart. Then, take action and help them to deal with challenges and to reach their goals. Pray together about it, adjust schedules and make an effort to support and inspire your spouse to fulfill their dreams.
When we read the Bible, there are many scriptures speaking to us about inspiration. Moses was inspired by God to take up his role to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, and he did. Noah was instructed by God to build an ark and although he was laughed at, he was inspired by God’s Word and did it, thus saving his own life, the lives of his family and the animals. Then there is Joseph who never gave up. God spoke to him in his dreams and he had a vision, inspired by God. Although he was sold by his brothers, worked as a slave, thrown in prison for something he did not do, he remained inspired by God’s truth over his life that things would be different and it happened as God said. We also read about David who through God’s inspiration, killed Goliath. We can continue reading story after story in the Bible and we see the results of inspiration.
You might say that you do not at this point in time have a spouse or loved one who motivates and inspires you. Well, don’t let that put you off. Also, don’t lose faith and be a good example. Keep loving, motivating and inspiring your spouse and trust that God will change them. Also remember, you should not be driven to reach your goals only by the motivation of others. God should be your inspiration, first and utmost! It might mean to take smaller bites for now in order to reach your dream, but take the bite, don’t put it off.
One of my favourite scriptures in the Bible is from Philippians 4:13: “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Praise God! So God loves you and he believes in You and when He says you can do everything, then you can. Put your challenges and dreams to God and ask Him for direction so that you make the right choices and follow the right approach to achieve your dreams. Let Him guide You and confirm your path. Then, go for it! I want to encourage everyone who is married, to be married, in any form of relationship and even your family members and friends, to put in an effort to go and sit with your loved ones and ask them about the challenges they are facing. Ask them about their dreams and help them, inspire them to overcome and rise above their circumstances and reach their goals.
I glorify God for always being my inspiration to move forward. I also want to take the opportunity in this article to thank my husband for always believing in me, motivating me, inspiring me to aim higher and to make my goals a reality. I love you and appreciate you more than words can ever say.
Lots of love, Princess K
