Have you noticed that when you start reading a book, the first page is often a clean page and the writing only starts on the second page, with either a dedication or simply, Chapter 1? Reading into the first chapter of a book, normally sets the scene for what is to come and for me, it either intrigues me and I continue, or I simply put it down.
The clean page of a book had me thinking about the story of my own life. If I had a clean page now, to write a book about my life, where would I begin? Would I write everything I have experienced, or simply the highs? Surely to include the lows, would tell the real story of how I have become the woman I am.
I was raised in a Christian home, by loving parents, growing up as one of six siblings. I don’t remember much younger than the age of five, but I do know that I was loved, cared for and never felt unwanted. Now for many others, they did not even have such a wonderful start, having been rejected, abused and in much need of basic life necessities.
As I grew up, I experienced life in different ways. There were times of not having much, wearing hand me down clothes, not being able to attend social events with other kids and off course not having many treats. Many times, I felt ashamed, not for any other reason than the fact that I compared myself to others. For example, having one Sunday School dress and having to wear bobby socks and school shoes to church, when others had pantyhose and painted leather shoes. Although there were those moments, they did not last long, for as a child, I realised that I was blessed, knowing that I had more opportunities than others.
As mentioned before in one of my articles, I was sexually molested by my sister’s friend at an early age. Not knowing how to deal with it, I experimented with it, yet felt ashamed at the same time. Off course, only a few new, and not being able to really understand what had happened to me, it manifested in other ways. I had a very low self-image and became a somewhat perfectionist, having to perform well in various areas of my life. Once I reached the age of ten, most was forgotten, and I moved on with my life.
Years later, I was touched by the Holy Spirit and He brought me to a point of having to acknowledge what had happened at the age of five, causing the low self-esteem. I realised that although I was tampered with, I was not raped, and once again I realised that I was blessed. I could have ended up drowning in the sorrow of being hurt, but I chose to forgive and release the person who did it to me. I also asked forgiveness from those that I had influenced negatively. Very importantly, I also forgave myself for wrong decisions that I have made, as a result of being molested.
Today, I am happily married to a lovely husband, with two beautiful children and a grandchild. You see, Jesus set me free (John 8:36) and I took up that freedom, now living it to the full. My story is still being written and I will continue to write as the chapters unfold. I have decided to include both the good and bad experiences of my life, the wrong decisions that I have made and the fierce temptations that I have had to face. You see, those things are what constitutes true-life stories, which encourages others to not give up on life, but to live it to the full.
I know that we all have different stories to tell and for some, they have had a very sad life. Even though hard to live a tough life, know that Jesus loves you and wants to be your Saviour, helping you to forgive and heal. Also remember that as one chapter closes, another will begin. Both you and I, have the choice of using a clean page for every chapter that begins. We can either drag the past into our future, constantly reflecting on the hurt and reliving our pasts, or, we can use the experience to write new chapters. If you had a clean page, where would you begin?
Love in Christ, Princess K
If you are not planted in Christ, and need His salvation, this is where restoration and new beginnings start. You can follow this link: https://test.jesustomyrescue.com/accept-jesus/ for assistance.