Father God, I worship You and You alone and glorify Your Name! Jesus, You are my Saviour and best friend. Thank you for giving me life! Holy Spirit be my every breath, my everything!
It all began 7 years and 3 months back, when our lives were turned upside down with the arrival of Tara. She was all we ever hoped for. She made us laugh and many a times, she made us angry. She would light up the mornings, and at night she would always make us feel safe. That is our Tara girl, always full of funny jokes, like sitting on my lap even when she was almost heavier than me. No one would enter the house without her permission and the kids and I always came first when my husband was not at home. With my husband travelling a lot from home, Tara would sit outside my window at night knowing that the man of the house was not present, not leaving me and the kids to be alone.
Of course there was the time when she was enjoying the 1.7m deep hole in the ground before they put in the swimming pool, having the time of her life in the rain and mud. With her, days were special! Different! She would be one of the first to come running when you get home from work. It was also her that would eat the eggs on the floor when they fell. She even swallowed a big piece of steak, without even chewing it. Well, at least there were also those times when we could give back to her, making her feel special. Sometimes it would be a walk, food, letting her into the house when there were thunder storms, more food or simply just by rubbing her tummy. With her getting ill, we knew it was only a matter of time and after prolonging it, it was clear that she could hardly walk anymore. As I type this article, tears are streaming down my face, because you see, I had to say goodbye tonight. Wow, this is not easy! I guess by now you gathered that I am referring to our Boerboel dog, our Tara girl, who was put to sleep today, 30 March 2010. At least now, she no longer has any pain or discomfort.
All of this takes me back to November 2005 when my husband lost his parents in a very traumatic way. We were shocked, confused and had many unanswered questions. We never got to say goodbye by holding their hands and saying a prayer with them. The goodbyes only came at the morgue and then at the funeral, but then it was not really a goodbye. I still think about what happened and try to play it over and over in my mind but realise that I need to move on and know that they are now with Jesus. Still, it does not make the goodbye all that easier. I guess tonight I am sharing my heart with you, because I have lost my sister, my parents in law, friends and now my dog. It simply does not get easier! What about you? Who have you lost? Who did you have to say goodbye to or perhaps you are challenged at this stage in your life, with having to say goodbye to a loved one. Perhaps you have to say goodbye to a very ill family member, your spouse or your child? Well, I can’t tell you that it will be easy, because it won’t. I can’t tell you it will never happen, because it will. What I can tell you is that Jesus understands how we feel. He loved John the Baptist very much, and I am sure Jesus cried to God when He knew that He was going to die on that cross.
He understands when we are hurt and experiences that hurt with us, because when we give our hearts to Him, He lives in us through the Holy Spirit. I want to say to you tonight, you may cry, you may mourn and you may miss the ones that you love. You may! However, the sun will shine tomorrow, there will be a new day and if we get stuck in past, we will miss the beauty of the future. Let us work through our pain and loss, but not dwell on it. Remember there is a world out there that needs us to tell them about God’s great love and what better way to communicate this, than through our own testimonies of how we have worked through it.
Remember dear reader, God gave us life and throughout life we create memories. We can use these memories to live out our life, to allow our loved ones who are no longer with us to live in our memories. This in turn will allow us to live life and not be stuck to the past. So even if you are feeling down like I am feeling now, remember that the truth of life, in Christ and the memories of your loved ones, can never be taken from you, never!
How do we say goodbye? We say goodbye in that moment when our loved ones are taken from us. We don’t ask, we accept! We cry, we pray and then when you wake up tomorrow morning, you know that God has given a new day, a fresh start from yesterday! I choose right now to see the sun coming up, giving light to my sorrowed heart. I live, I breathe, and I have a tomorrow. I choose to take my pleasant memories with me on my journey of life, in a relationship with Jesus who said that for all humans we shall not perish if we believe in Him, but will have eternal life (John 3:16). You can also read Acts 17:28, Phil 4:11-13.
With lots of love in Jesus Name
Princess K
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