Two pair of hands

TWO PAIR OF HANDS

O Gracious Father, bless the words of our lips and the meditations of our hearts.  Breathe your Spirit into us and grant that we may hear and in hearing may be led in the way You want us to go.  We ask this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

The Oxford dictionary describes the word father as, a male parent, it also mentions amongst other things, religious leader, religious teacher and originator.  I would like you to think about the following question:  How would you describe your father in just a few words?

Apart from God, the most important three letter word in English is dad.  God hardwired our DNA to have a craving for a dad, Solomon said the glory of children is their fathers.  Glory meaning weight/heaviness, a dad carries heaviness, and not just in his girth.  He shoulders influence, for good or ill.  Today we find that many families are experiencing the absence of fathers.  According to google, 24 million children in the world are growing up without their biological father.  Some of them gain the benefit of having a godly step-father, however most of them will lash out against this invisible burden.  Consider the following statistics:

Fatherless children are 5 times more likely to live in poverty.  They represent 85% of children with behavioural problems.  They also have a much higher chance of drug use, repeating their grades, suicide and incarceration.

We often ask ourselves the question, what is the world coming too?  I am of the opinion that nations must be built on Godly strong fathers.  If the authority of a father is not present in a family, or if it is being undermined for that matter, the family is weak, when families are weak it leads to decay in morals and values and therefore communities becomes morally weak.  This in turn eventually falters leading to nations becoming weak and succumb to those things that God despises.  Where are we today?  1 Peter 5:8 cautions us by saying:  “Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Lions are renowned hunters, but rarely attack strong and healthy animals, they will prey on the weak ones and those that stray away from the protection of the herds.  Now to bring that into context; the devil will not come knocking on the door and announce his presence or intentions, but will do it deviously by attacking those that are weak in their spiritual lives and morals.  He goes after the innocent, making use of everyday popular items such as music, literature, media, movies, electronic games to distribute his evil.  He also uses pornography, dissent, disregard for authority, freedom of this and freedom of that; everything that is against what we are taught in the Bible.  When we read the newspaper what are the headlines and main news?  We read about corruption, murder, rape, xenophobia and very little about good deeds, religion, and good things that happened.  What are the exposures our children get?  Movies and television series also depicts pornographic scenes, children that have no respect for their parents, violence, and the worst of all blasphemy.

Therefore I caution those appointed by God to accept their responsibilities in the upbringing of children, the question that remains now is how?  Proverbs 22:6 says:  “Bring up a child in the way he should go and when they are old they will not soon depart from it.”  We love our children and grandchildren, and treat them well, yet sometimes they turn away from us and sometimes they journey on roads that we do not understand or approve of.  But in the end, if our hearts are open, if the foundation is well laid, we see them return to us as much as the prodigal son returned to his father.

Zephaniah 3:17 says:  “The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”  According to this we learn that our Heavenly Father is always present, strong, delighting and celebrating over us.  He does not need to take time off from work to be with us.  Most of us, parents, do not have that luxury.  So when we do have those moments or opportunities to be present with our children, we should be truly present.  Move from screen time to face time.  How often have I not said to my children, I just want to watch this rugby match or television programme, and then I will be with you?  God never has turned me away when I needed some of His time.  In times of need He is there, in times of joy, He is there.  In John 10 we read about Jesus explaining that what He is doing is on His Fathers authority.  So we can see the respect and love Jesus has for His Father as well as His obedience.  Jesus knows His Father, how well do our children know us?

Not everyone may be blessed by still having a human father, but we all have our Heavenly Father and we so often fail to keep that in mind.  I am convinced that a portion of the problems we experience is that we as parents often do not know the way our children should go.  More importantly, many times when we do know the way, we so often fail to live it.  This results in our children becoming frustrated and alienated from us as parents and from God.  So what is the way then?

We, as parents, must actually live Godly lives.  We must keep our promises concerning our relationship to the Lord.  We must keep our promises with our relationships with our families and other people.  As parents we must be mature in our faith, and as fathers be the spiritual head of the family as God has called us to be.  We must commit ourselves to build strong biblical marriages and support the mission of Christ with our time, talents and our prayers.  We are to devote ourselves to demonstrate the love of Christ in our communities, to live moral and virtuous lives based on scriptural principles.  The result will not only be the renewal of our own lives as parents, but it will also bring renewal to our families, churches, communities and ultimately to the world.  This will work because the secret of all successful marriages and of successful parenting always rests in two pair of hands.

First and foremost, in the hands of God, and secondly in our hands.  If we allow these hands to be linked together the results will prove to be incredible.  Lives will be changed, it will be improved, families will heal and reconcile.  If we live Godly lives then the odds are overwhelmingly that our children will live Godly lives.

In Ephesians and again in Colossians Paul shares the word that he received from the Lord concerning children and their parents.  He writes:  “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.  Honour your mother and father, which is the first Commandment with a promise, that it may go right with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  Then he writes:  “Fathers, do not provoke your children do not exasperate your children instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  These last words are surely inspiring.

Someone once said:  “A boy loves his mother, but will follow his father.”  Parenting is never easy.

It is not easy being a father or a mother as it has incredible challenges, incredible pains but at the same time incredible joys.  We can do no better thing for our children than personally walking in the way we should go.  To be mature in the Faith and to be continually open to the Transforming power of Christ.

Beloved, the best thing that we can do for our children and grandchildren is for each one of us to personally be right with God and to walk in the way of the Lord.  Never be satisfied but continually seek to be transformed into the image of Christ, to finish this marathon of life, the race laid before us and to finish it well.  Furthermore, to give our all and when we cross over to the other side of eternity, to collapse into our Saviour’s arms knowing we had no more to give and to hear His voice telling us:  “Well done good and faithful servant.  You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race.”

The question that I asked in the beginning was, how would you describe your father in just a few words?  This question leads to the following question.  How do you want to be remembered by your children?

Not everyone reading this article may be a father, some may plan to be one in the future, some of us may not have an earthly father anymore, and then there are some whom may not have very fond memories of their fathers.  However, we have the choice today as to how we are going to deal with our own situations.  I want to assure you today that our Father in heaven will always be there for you no matter what.  I urge you to make the choice today to be the best parent you can be and to forgive unconditionally, because that was what was done for each and every one of us.  Jesus pleaded to His Father to forgive because the people did not know what they were doing, and sometimes we as parents do things without realising the consequences of what we are doing.

I close with a prayer:  “Father today we want to give You all the honour and praise, You created each one of us uniquely, and have an unique plan for each one.  Sometimes we falter and loose the road, but Your Hand is always there to guide us back.  There are some with aching hearts and memories that is heavy to bear.  I pray that You will release everyone from their burdens as Your Word states that Your burden is light and easy to bear.  Father I pray that You will fill every heart with joy and gratefulness replacing sorrow and hurt.  Please give us the wisdom and knowledge to be the best parents we can be, to forgive unconditionally and to live Godly lives.  This I pray in the Name of Jesus Christ.  Amen

Love in Christ, Doric