Father God, I honour You and bow before You as my one and only King! Lord Jesus I adore You. You saved my life and my heart belongs to You forever. Holy Spirit, reign in me, every moment, every day. Praise Jesus! Amen!
One of the hardest things for many people is to acknowledge that they are wrong. I often experience it, do you? When it is obvious, we tend to acknowledge it yes, but when it is not clear who is at the wrong, we tend to believe first, that it is the other person. The last couple of weeks it made me think more deeply about this topic and I do believe it is more serious than what we think, as many fights and unhappiness can be avoided.
Sometimes we do things unknowingly and that is the time when we don’t necessarily admit we are in the wrong. However, standing back and reflecting after some time, we come to realise that we could have dealt with it differently. This happens in our marriages, friendships and work. Let us use an example. All of us go on long leave at some point in the year. When you return after long leave it feels like you were gone forever and you almost feel as if you don’t belong there anymore. I can remember when I went on maternity leave many years ago.
I was away for 4 months and in those 4 months my whole life changed. Because things move at a very fast paste at work, much changed in 4 months. New methods, new technology and new staff impacted on the working environment. Therefore, the longer away from work, the more difficult it is to adapt to serious changes. So on my return, I felt like I don’t belong there anymore. My heart and mind was set on one thing and that was my baby. I could not wait to get through the day just to go and fetch my little one.
It took some time to adapt to a new way of life at work again. I started questioning things and even if I remember correctly having difficulty to readjust to the different personalities. I had to come to terms with the fact that work and people moved on. It took some time to realise that perhaps the difficulty to readjust was not that things were wrong at work but that I had to accept that until God provided for me to be full time with my baby, I had to work to make life extra special for her education and to have nice things. So only after a few months I realised that perhaps it was me and not the people at work that changed.
The same happened with my second pregnancy and on a smaller scale it happens every time I go on long leave. Now many years later, I focus on my passion to work full time in Jesus to my Rescue Ministries and that makes the adjustment even greater every time I return to work from a conference or a leave period. Am I the only one or do you also experience it?
Let us use another example. In marriage, we often get irritated by the little things our partners do or don’t do as we would expect from them. Have we ever given it thought that they feel the same way? That means that both are required to adjust and re-adjust all the time in order to give 100% and receive 100% back. Does that mean we have to necessarily change all the time? No! It means that we are who we are but that to adapt to changed circumstances is inevitable. Having said that, let us look at a scenario. Dad comes home and mom has been waiting for him all day to share what baby has done and what she is planning for the family after hours. Dad had a very long day and his mind is still full of decisions that need to be made for tomorrow. He comes home and gives mom and baby a kiss and hugs and then put on comfortable clothes.
Mom starts talking and dad seems to not be listening. Eventually mom gets uptight and leaves the room. Immediately, possible confrontation is on the horizon. What happens next? You can work it out for yourself, based on your own experiences. You see dear reader; it often does end up in a fight. She feels he does not listen and he feels she does not give him space. The reality is if she just offered him a cup of coffee and asked him about the day, he would have time to relax and unwind and then they could have had a discussion over supper about the family plans. So according to me in that case perhaps it was mom that should have read and dealt with the situation differently. However, it does not exclude the responsibility of dad to have told her he just needs a bit of me time first.
Dear reader, you must be asking where I am going with this. Like I say giving it some deeper thought, I realise that many times, if not most of the time, we ourselves are the guilty party in being in the wrong and if we don’t allow ourselves to stand back and reflect on the situation before acting, we might not see it at all.
Looking at David’s perception of this in Ps 19:12 – 13, he says: “Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression.” Incredible to know that David writes exactly what I have referred to in the previous paragraphs. It is often easy to identify the wrong in others, but to discern our own errors is painful, so we either need time before admitting it or we don’t see and acknowledge it at all.
I end of by saying that perhaps it is you who started the fight, who caused the havoc, who falsely accused and who were sensitive to the challenges and needs of others above your own. Just perhaps…….you are the one who can bring positive changes in your life experiences?
Lots of love
PS: Dear reader, please remember that the scripture used are from the New International Version. If the scripture is read in another language and translation it might differ slightly. A verse in the NIV might be a different one in your Bible, i.e. Ps 37:3 in the NIV might be Ps 37:4 in your bible. This does not always occur, but happens in some instances.