Hate my life

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Hate my life

You just don’t care anymore; you are tired of your life, the people in it making it hell to live in and all the other disappointments that goes along with it. You are angry about things that happened to you or still is, because it’s unfair. You’re at the point where you believe there is no light in your future and you reject any feeling of hope because it always leads to disappointment. You refuse to try and get out of that deep dark pit you’re in, because it’s just easier not to, besides trying to stand up would just create another opportunity for you to fall again.

You have completely given up. You have shut yourself down and you do not allow anyone to get to your heart. You have learned to force yourself not to feel and care. You push away anyone that is a threat to your armour, anyone that could possibly make you happy, because it’s just another way for you to get hurt.

So you have created this amour and now you are strong, unbreakable and you refuse to show your weakness. You won’t let a single tear escape from your eyes. You’re always joking around and no one knows who you really are or what you really feel. Others fear disappointment but you don’t, you simply reject hope, love and happiness because, those are the things that lead to disappointment. So you got it all figured out, except for one thing; you’re in there alone.

On the inside of your amour there is nothing but emptiness and bitterness and you have to fill it with something right? So you get lost in something that gives you an illusion of happiness and joy. Maybe its alcohol, drugs or something else that gets you to forget your life, your battle for a while. Something that, for that moment, feels like happiness.

It’s an escape from your reality, a place you can experience some kind of happiness. So it becomes a routine, even an addiction. Now you have found a way to fill that empty space. You’re now filled with bitterness and a desire for intoxication. With some time into it you realise you have started doing very stupid things, things that really goes against your morals and the person you really are, but life failed you anyway so what’s the point in caring about morals now right?

You carry on and the list of stupid things gets longer and longer. Until you wake up one morning and you look at what you have become. You have become so cold, you don’t care about anything, not even yourself. You have become a person you’re really nothing like, you don’t want to be this, you don’t want to hate your life, you don’t want to be empty and you want to believe that maybe something, somehow, someday will work out right and that you really could be happy.

Now you have regret and self-hatred to live with too and you’ve become your own enemy. If you are reading this now and you’re at this point, if you fear hope, if you think you need intoxication to get away from all this, if you hate yourself, your life, if you have a stone cold heart. This is the time to crack.

There is one person who knows the real you, there is one person you can trust with your heart, your life, there is one person who can pick you up, carry you, clean you and redeem you. He can renew you. The amour you think is making you strong is breaking you! But HE will give you strength with healing, strength with love, with joy and happiness and nothing will overcome you. Nothing will have the power to chain you down in that deep dark pit to make you believe you are unworthy and doomed to bitterness for as long as you live.

Jesus can save you and He will, if you put your trust, your hope, your heart and your life in His hands. He will restore you. He has a plan for your life, you have a purpose and He has paid a very dear price to be able to pick you up out from that pit to give you life! His love is undying, unchanging and never ending! He can break your chains and set you free. He is the King of all Kings and every knee will bow before Him. If you give your life to Him and trust Him completely there is NOTHING in this world that could steal your joy. He has overcome this world and every chain has been broken.

He is knocking on that amour of yours and He DIED for you to know Him. I give you my word, you give Him your life completely and trust Him with every bit of it and you will not regret it. Let Jesus come to your rescue. See this scripture:

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Romans 8:1 there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Prayer: Lord break my chains and set me free. I bring before you today every sin I have committed, please forgive me. Lord I accept you today and I ask You to take over my life, Lord break my armour and heal my broken heart. Father renew me and make me whole, God only you can save me and I give you everything today, show me the way, give me strength Lord. Father pull me from this darkness and let me experience Your joy in my life. Jesus I believe You have defeated this world so that I can reach out my hand to You today Lord. Thank You for what you have done for me, Jesus I praise your name. Amen.

Miryna, TeenZone Team